61 Things Alice Cullen is not Allowed to Do
by The Real Emmett Cullen
Summary: 61 Things Alice Cullen is not Allowed to Do.


60 Things Alice Cullen is not Allowed to Do.

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"Go Alice." I said… she glared and started..

1. Im not allowed to force Jasper to enter Victoria's secret and make him carry my things.

not allowed to play Bella Barbie.

"YESSSS!!!." Bella Screamed…

"I new you would like it Bella." Esme said… Alice Dry sobbed

not allowed to convince Jasper that he wants to manipulate Bella's emotions so that she wants to go shopping. It's just cruel and maniacal.

not allowed to threaten Emmett's car. Or anyone else's. It doesn't matter what they did to her clothes

not allowed to lie about the future to get her way.

not allowed to intentionally let a secret about Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper or anyone else, accidentally slip through her mind loud enough for Edward to notice and go crazy.

not allowed to block her mind using thoughts that may mentally scar Edward forever.

not allowed to decorate Edward's car for the prom. Or any other special occasion.

not allowed to take Bella or Nessie shopping against there will.

not allowed to have Rosalie take Bella shopping against her will then meet them at a mall to shop.

not allowed to help Edward kidnap and torture Mike Newton

"Why Not." Edward whined. I laughed…

"Edward." Bella said. And he stopped. He was totally whipped. He glared at me.. Crap. I kissed a Vampire and I liked it hope the Volture not mind it.. I started sing…

not allowed to make up a game called Barbie Mike and then say her kidnapping and torture was supposed to be a fun game.

not allowed to tell Nessie she is a princess and dress her like one.

"WHAT IM NOT A PRINCESS." Nessie Yelled, crying in Jasper's arms…

"No Sweetie you are." Alice said. Nessie Cried, I picked her up.

"You Are the Princess of Half Vampire Half Humans, You rule over ur kind." I said.. She stopped crying..

"Really." She asked.. I nodded my head.

"Really.." I said, and Alice keep reading…

not allowed to tell Nessie to run, hide, and fight back in anyone tries to make her change out of the afore mentioned dress.

not allowed to take Emmett or Edward to the mall forcing them to go shopping with her for any reason

not allowed to use a old vision to Blackmail anyone… EVER..

not allowed to take Nessie into Victoria's Secret. Not until she's 30 according to Edward.

"Edward that's ridiculous." Bella said. Edward Glared.

"No its not.." He said, and told Alice to continue.

not allowed to refer to Edward as the 110 year old virgin who finally did it.

not allowed to get others to refer to Edward as this

not allowed to invite Jacob to stay with the family. Rosalie will go insane and Edward will probably kill him.

"But Daddy what if I want jakey here." Nessie Pouted.

"He can Be here, he just has to go home." Edward tried to Explain…

"WHY." Nessie Yelled, Getting of his lap and running to me.

"Nessie Ness, you dad's Right Rose would kill Jake, don't u want him to live." I said, she nodded.

"Okay." she said (I Know who else things Nessie Cry's to much, I blame it on Eddie)

not allowed to take Seth shopping against his will when the Cullen boys wont go.

"I Never take Seth Against his will I resent that." Alice said..

"Then why did he Run home Crying saying the Clothes they Attack." I said. She put her head down..

not allowed to torture people even if I claims it isn't torture it's shopping/dress-up

not allowed is not allowed to destroy this list

not allowed to tell small children that she's one of Santa's elves and can she please have their Christmas presents to fix?

not allowed to paint Emmett's jeep bright pink with glitter.

not allowed to stick a bumper sticker saying, "i am vampire, hear me roar," on Edward's Volvo.

not allowed to claim she is the Queen of Guam.

not allowed to steal Bella's wardrobe and give it away to the Salvation Army, then go buy her more Clothes..

not allowed to take over Belgium.

not allowed to Shop in Paris without Carlisle because I will run up the Credit card

not allowed to help the purple penguins take over the world!

not allowed to cut Rosalie's hair so that it's in the shape of mohawk and then dye it the colors of the rainbow.

not allowed to sing Peanut Butter Jelly Time at the top of her lungs

not allowed make everyone sit through the torture of watching the Teletubbies."Ugh I remember when she made us the First time." I sobbed at the memory, it was Scary..

not allowed to copy the lyrics in the "Ban Game" me and Slashy Snow Eagle have been posting

not allowed to insist that she be able to use shopping as PE credits. (My Fav she really trys to do it)

not allowed to use her ability to tell the future to set up a fortune telling booth at school and make her fortune telling the girls which boys will ask them to the dances.

not allowed to use Jasper as a Barbie doll.

not allowed to dress Emmett up as a ballerina

"NO YOUR NOT." I YELLED… Alice Laughed

not allowed to paint Edward's toenails pink.

not allowed to use Jasper to make Emmett and Edward want to carry her bag and be her models when she goes shopping

not allowed to shop for more than 12 hours straight without taking a break.

not allowed to be in the book of world record for longest shopping spree.

not allowed to dress Jasper up as an elf for Christmas.

45..Im not allowed to let Emmett dress her up as an angel and stick her on top of the big Christmas tree in the center of town.

not allowed to put Jasper in a sequenced outfit with a hat and make him do jazz hands.

not allowed to start crying to Esme when Emmett eats her ice cream.

"EMMETT you STOLE ALICE ICE CREAM." Esme Yelled at me.

"no." I said.

"Yes he did mommy." Alice Said.

"EMMETT CULLEN, YOU ARE GROUNDED." Esme yelled at me.

not allowed to make "Barbie Girl" Bella's ring tone When she calls me.

not allowed to imitate everybody she sees to the point of insanity.

not allowed to slash the tires of Edwards Volvo

"That's it." Alice said..

"Nope there's 1o more Alice, I just thought of them." I said.

"Fine." she yelled..

not allowed to adopt, "live hard, die young" as her motto.

not allowed to make Bella's 3rd wedding dress bright pink.

not allowed to make Edward wear an outfit of her own making.

not allowed to sing Fer Sure at the top of her lungs.

not allowed to put on a fairy costume and break into people's houses at night pretending to be the Tooth fairy"Why not that would be Cool, we have enough Money to do that." Alice said. Everyone just stared at her…

"God Never mind." she huffed

not allowed to under any circumstances to dress up and act like Britney Spears

not allowed to call herself Paris Hilton.

not allowed to make Bella sing, "Breathe no more" to Edward.

not allowed to run away and join the circus.

not allowed to join the New York City Ballet and put all the dancers out of buisness with her grace.

61. AND I'm not allowed to go crazy and paint the entire house pink.

"Is that it Emmett." Alice asked.

"Yes." I said

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DONE... Review... Let me know, Who should i do next, Edward or Rose

*TREC*

The Real Emmett Cullen


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